As I’m looking for a new place to live, I’m seeing plenty of offers here and there in London. Yep. The property ladder is “blooming” – thanks to the buy-to-let market – and it’s quite hilarious. All these ads are for real and validated by estate agencies. Ready for a good laugh?
So this is what happens when you look for a flat in London: you laugh until you cry – because at the end you’re horrified.
1- A bed? What for?
Why would you need a bed in your self-contained studio? Oh! My mistake, the mattress is against the wall. The perfect way to make some space when you want to go from the kitchen to your sole tiny window! Asking price: £850 pcm (quite a bargain, please see below)
2- Space optimization
Every interior designer says the same about small flats: optimization. Here we are! Sleep on top of your wardrobe and also half in your cupboard (cause you’ve got legs, bloody hell). Perfect for those who are sensitive to the cold. Asking price: £1,083 pcm
3- Where is Window?
You know Where is Wally? Let’s try Where is Window! Need some help to find a window? It’s a ground floor studio. Still looking for the window? On top of the wall, yep, on the left, that’s it! Welcome to your prison cell style flat. Asking price: £1,083 pcm (but all util. inc.)
4- The vintage one
No, you’re not in a museum, this is your new kitchen in 2016. If you love vintage, you might love this amazing gas cooker. Want more? To access to your kitchen from your flat, cross the hallway. Asking price: £823 pcm (but it’s in zone 3 that’s why it’s cheap)
5- The corridor
At least, you can see everything from your bed… Btw, no space for a double bed. Asking price: £1,084 pcm
6- For the lazy ones
Close to all amenities. True! You can cook from your bed. What else? Asking price: £1,083 pcm
All these “properties” are for real and these are also the real asking prices. Now it’s time for me to watch the news and listen to Cameron saying there’s no housing crisis in the country, that everything is fine because he’s building loads of affordable homes. Amen.